


Herding Cats

by notallballs (notallbees)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cats, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Implied Relationships, Kissing, M/M, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-12 05:16:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7921930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notallbees/pseuds/notallballs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cat-sitting in his new boyfriend’s apartment seems like a stress-free way for Kuroo to get out of his mom’s house for a week, and to win some brownie points with Yaku. But cats often have their own ideas about how things should be run, and Kuroo has his work cut out if he wants to impress Porco and Rosso.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Herding Cats

**Author's Note:**

> AAhhhhh omg here I am at last with my second entry for the Haikyuu Big Bang 2016 ^u^
> 
> [monabeewrites](http://monabeewrites.tumblr.com/post/149948134297/painstaking-hours-of-painting-and-my-camera-kills) not only beta'd for me but also painstakingly produced beautiful hand-painted fanart for this story! Thank you so so much to her for her help with this story! Thanks must also go to ilgaksu for helping me to hammer out the idea, and to mousecat for cat-related support and emergency proofreading.
> 
> Most of all, thank you to my cat, for being a total idiot and an endless source of inspiration for this fic.

—

 

_“When my cats aren't happy, I'm not happy. Not because I care about their mood but because I know they're just sitting there thinking up ways to get even.”_

_-Percy Shelley_

 

—

 

Kuroo glanced at his watch for the third time in as many minutes.

It was almost time for Yaku to leave for the airport, and Kuroo felt impossibly in the way as his boyfriend hurried from one room to the other, double checking that he had everything he needed. Kuroo sat at the low coffee table, pretending to flip through a book he'd taken from the shelf. He'd only stayed in Yaku's apartment a couple of times before and he was antsy, constantly shifting in place, his fingers playing with a loose thread on the sleeve of his cardigan.

“Tetsu!”

He snapped to attention. “Yes!”

Yaku stuck his head out of the bedroom and gave him a lopsided smile. “Have they called yet?”

Kuroo shook his head. His insides flopped a little, still helplessly overwhelmed by the fact that he had a boyfriend. A tiny, amazing, sarcastic, gorgeous, savage excuse for a boyfriend. Kuroo sighed. He was pathetic. “I can still drive you, if you want.”

“Don't be stupid,” Yaku said, his voice slightly strained as he hauled his bags out into the hallway. “It's easier if we all just carpool to the airport.” He dropped his bags by the front door—Kuroo knew better than to offer to help him—then turned and put his hands on his hips for a moment. “Almost done. Back in a minute.” He disappeared back into the bedroom and Kuroo smiled pathetically after him.

Yaku stepped out of his bedroom again a minute later and sighed heavily, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair. “Okay,” he said, turning around on the spot. “I'm pretty sure that's everything.”

Kuroo straightened up. “You say goodbye already?”

“Yeah,” Yaku laughed. “They're totally indifferent as ever, the assholes.”

“They'll miss you when you're gone,” Kuroo said, pushing himself back from the table. He patted his lap and tried for a smirk. “Come here?”

Yaku gave him a reproachful look. “Don't make me late, Tetsu.”

Kuroo smiled for real at the sound of his name and put his hands on the couch behind him so that he could haul himself up onto the seat. “I just want to say goodbye!”

“Sure you do,” Yaku said, but his smile was indulgent as he walked over and stood between Kuroo's knees, hands coming up to brush Kuroo's hair back from his face. “Sure you’re gonna be alright?”

“You bet,” Kuroo said, nodding. “I'm a grown up, I'll manage.” His fringe flipped back into his eyes.

Yaku laughed at him softly. “Sometimes I wonder,” he said, but he leaned down and pressed his teasing smile to Kuroo's lips. Kuroo slid his hands up Yaku's sides, reaching under his t-shirt and tugging him closer.

Yaku made a soft sound against his mouth; a low, hungry noise that made Kuroo tug harder. Apparently casting aside his earlier reluctance, Yaku moved onto his lap, straddling his thighs and tugging Kuroo's head back by his hair to kiss him more deeply.

Kuroo moaned, edging the fingers of one hand into the elastic of Yaku's underwear and cupping his tiny ass.

“Stop it,” Yaku murmured without conviction, his lips moving against Kuroo's.

“Nuh-uh,” Kuroo hummed in response.

“You're gonna make me late.”

“It's only an international flight,” Kuroo teased, pushing Yaku's t-shirt up properly and ducking his head to kiss his chest, lingering over the sparse freckles on his sternum, then nuzzling his mouth over one soft nipple.

Yaku gasped, clutching him tighter. “Tet—Tetsu, fuck off, I need to _go_.”

Kuroo laughed loudly at Yaku's tone, which was half desperate and half annoyed. He wrapped his arms tight around Yaku's waist and rolled him sideways onto the couch, smothering his small frame with his own bulk.

“Tetsurou!” Yaku shouted indignantly. He jammed his heel into Kuroo's thigh, but Kuroo grimaced through the pain and pressed his face into Yaku's soft belly.

“Mmm,” he sighed, obnoxiously loud, poking the tip of his nose into Yaku's navel to hear him giggle reluctantly. Kuroo licked his lips, took a deep breath and pressed his mouth to Yaku's skin to blow the loudest raspberry he could manage.

“Fuck off!” Yaku shouted again before convulsing with laughter. “I h—haha, I _hate_ you!”

Kuroo grinned up at him, his heart racing when Yaku grabbed a handful of his hair and tugged it none too gently. “You don't hate me,” Kuroo said, placing his hands by Yaku's head and crawling up to meet him.

Yaku smirked at him. “I might.”

“Nah.” Kuroo dropped his voice to a hoarse whisper, leaned down close enough to kiss. “You don't hate me at all.”

“Say what you like,” Yaku murmured, his eyes falling halfway closed.

On the table, Yaku's phone started to vibrate loudly.

“ _God_ ,” Yaku groaned, thumping his head back against the cushions. “Typical.” He pushed Kuroo away roughly and grabbed for his phone. “I told you not to start anything!”

Yaku's phone vibrated itself off the table and he swore before slithering off the couch to chase it. Kuroo heard the vibrations stop, then Yaku's voice, muffled but endearingly annoyed, as he argued with his friend on the other end of the line. “Hey—yeah, I'll be down in five—well, deal with it, Kai—if you'd called me when you were five minutes away you wouldn't have to circle anything—so what if I'm kissing him goodbye—okay, firstly, I'm not a _monster_ , and secondly, fuck off.”

Yaku hung up and tossed his phone back on the table. He threw his arms around Kuroo’s neck and kissed him, standing between his legs again.

“Don't burn down my apartment, okay?” Yaku whispered against his cheek.

Grinning, Kuroo hugged him tight. “I'll try my best.”

Yaku groaned.

“Don't worry, I'll save the cats.”

“Hah!” Yaku snorted. “Don't bother, they won't thank you.”

Kuroo kissed his jaw and felt Yaku shiver pleasantly in his arms. He _really_ wished they'd had time for another quickie before Yaku left. “Wouldn't _you_ thank me?” he purred.

Yaku huffed. “Debatable. Half my budget goes on those little demons.”

“You're crazy about them,” Kuroo muttered, mouthing at Yaku's earlobe.

“I'm definitely crazy,” Yaku said at last, pushing him off. He straightened his clothes and then put his hands on his hips, frowning in thought. “Right, cats. There's instructions on the counter for how much to feed them and stuff. Also for the alarm and the door codes and everything. Should be plenty of food but I've written down where you can get everything in case you run out.” He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “You've got the key, right?”

Kuroo nodded and jingled the key in his pocket. “It'll be fine.”

Yaku nodded. “Good. Eat whatever you like, except—”

“I know,” Kuroo said, laughing. “Except the forbidden stash. I won't touch it.”

“You're pretty great,” Yaku said, reaching up and patting his cheek. “If you're still here when I get back, and the apartment isn't a pile of rubble, I just might keep you around.”

“You want me to bring your bags down?” Kuroo asked, feeling a little surge of melancholy. It was silly, he knew. They had only been dating for a little over a month, and Yaku hadn't even quite left yet.

But Yaku shook his head, brushing cat hair off his sleeves. “Nah, I don’t want them to see you. They’re gonna rib me bad enough for not introducing you yet.”

 _Don’t you want me to meet your friends?_ Kuroo thought, but managed not to say. Yaku was a fairly private person, and not a lot of people knew that he dated men. He’d been just as fidgety about meeting Kuroo’s friends, so Kuroo didn’t want to rush him.

“Hey,” Yaku said softly, hesitating by the door. He reached up to cup Kuroo’s face in his hands. “How about when I get back, you can meet them?”

Kuroo felt himself start to smile but he tried to hide it, not wanting to look too hopeful. “Sure, I'm in no rush,” he said in what he hoped was a throwaway—but not _too_ throwaway—tone. He turned his face into Yaku's palm and bit the heel of his hand gently. “Have an awesome time, yeah?”

Yaku grinned at him. “Good luck.” He stood on tiptoe to peck Kuroo on the side of his mouth, then he bent to grab his bags and a moment later Kuroo stood alone in the apartment, the door feeling very solid between them.

 

—

 

_“Yo, Tetsu, what's up? Ball and chain left yet?”_

Kuroo made an indignant sound on Yaku's behalf. “Dude, five weeks does not a ball and chain make.”

_”Aw, I'm just messing, you know I like Yaku.”_

Kuroo huffed, and tried to get a grip. All of his friends had liked Yaku so far, which was a miracle in itself, because as much as Kuroo liked him, he couldn't deny that Yaku was an acquired taste, not to mention merciless when someone pissed him off. He took a deep breath to reassure himself.

_“Babe, are you crying?”_

“Fuck off,” Kuroo said genially.

Bokuto made a soothing sound. _“Tets, noooo. You want me to come over?”_

“I'm not crying,” Kuroo said, laughing. “And it seems a little disrespectful to just immediately start inviting people over to my boyfriend's place.”

_“Okay, okay. So what’s it like, anyway?”_

“Cat-sitting?”

_“Nah, man, the apartment!”_

Kuroo had lasted roughly thirty minutes on his own, making himself tea and wandering aimlessly around the small living room/kitchen area, before he gave into his boredom and called Bokuto. The cats hadn’t yet ventured out of the bedroom, even though Kuroo had tried half-heartedly shaking a bag of treats, followed by a squeaky mouse toy.

 _“Boyfriend has a fancy job, right?”_ Bokuto went on thoughtfully. _“Didn't you say his place was pretty nice?”_

“Mm,” Kuroo hummed, taking a sip of his lukewarm tea. “He's an auditor. Corporate stuff, private sector. It's really fucking boring.”

Bokuto sounded undeterred. _“That’s cool! Is he loaded? Is the apartment huge? Dude, can I come over? I wanna see it, let me come over. Ooh, does he have an enormous tv? How big is the bed?”_

“I dunno,” Kuroo said, laughing as Bokuto tripped over his own words in his excitement. “I think it's normal size? Yaku isn't that big.” He sighed and walked back over to the kitchen to open the fridge. “It's way more comfortable than my bed though, I think I need to start making excuses to stay over here more often.”

Bokuto made an excited noise that meant he'd had an idea. _“Bro!”_ he said loudly. Kuroo could picture him bouncing on the spot. _“You should move in together! You can be like his kept woman!”_

Kuroo snorted loudly. “One, gross,” he said, grinning at the idea of Yaku’s face if he suggested the concept. “Two, I’m my own woman thank-you-very-much.”

While Bokuto cackled on the other end of the phone, Kuroo rooted through the contents of the fridge. Either Yaku was more absent minded than he’d realised, and had bought way too much food right before going away, or he was the best boyfriend in the entire world. The fridge was stocked with fresh vegetables, soy milk, juice; Kuroo moved a packet of tofu and gasped softly.

_“Tets? What is it? Are you snooping? Did you find something cool?”_

“No I’m not snooping,” Kuroo said, holding up the packet with a fond smile. “Yakkun bought me mackerel.” There was a blank silence. “Shut up,” Kuroo said to the silence. “It’s cute.”

Bokuto made a noise that defied description but, overall, sounded doubtful. _“O-kay,”_ he said at last, stretching the word out. _“Okay but listen, I'm not suggesting you actually **snoop** , but have you looked through his closet for any weird stuff yet? This is a golden opportunity!”_

“I can't do that!” Kuroo protested, shoving the food back in the fridge and grabbing a cup of milk pudding. “That would be a total breach of his trust.” He paused while he peeled the foil lid of the cup. “Right?”

 _“Hmmm,”_ Bokuto hummed. _“I feel like, the rule is you can open up doors and drawers to look, but you can't rifle through them? So anything in plain sight in fair game.”_

Kuroo opened a couple of drawers until he found spoons. “I guess,” he said, unconvinced.

_“And he must expect you to be curious, right? A little snooping is fine.”_

“I mean, I’ll see most of that stuff just from being in his apartment for a week, right?” Kuroo agreed, aware that he was letting himself be talked into it and finding he didn’t much care. Was he really missing Yaku _that much_ already? Whatever.

 _“Totally, man!”_ Bokuto said excitedly. _“Can you do it now? I wanna know what you find!”_

“Alright, alright, I guess I'm not gonna play detective on my own.” Kuroo made a face at his milk pudding. “That’s _definitely_ creepy.”

Kuroo started in the kitchen, since he was already there. The cupboards were all full of food: dried noodles, beans, rice; a surprisingly grown up array of supplies. But when Kuroo pushed them aside—he and Bokuto agreed rifling was allowed in the kitchen, he had to eat after all—the backs of the cupboards were crowded with cheap cup noodles, energy drinks, ancient-looking health food snacks and grubby packets of cake mix.

“My boyfriend is an adorable secret slob,” Kuroo said, snorting with laughter before he described the contents to Bokuto.

 _“That sounds like my kitchen!”_ Bokuto said, sounding way too enthusiastic about energy drinks.

Kuroo groaned. “Don’t remind me. Have you eaten a balanced meal in your life?”

Bokuto made a dismissive sound and Kuroo laughed off the well-worn argument.

“Anyway,” Kuroo said, shutting the cupboards again with a sigh. “I already know he’s got the sweet tooth and the metabolism of a fruit fly. He’s got this secret stash of junk food that I’m not allowed to touch. There’s at least four different flavours of KitKat in there.”

 _“Oh my god,”_ Bokuto moaned, his voice going muffled like he’d just buried his face in a pillow or something. _“I think I love him.”_

Kuroo laughed. “Too bad.”

They took on the bathroom next, which wasn’t that exciting. Bokuto chattered about volleyball and the upcoming training camp his team was running to scout for new recruits. Bokuto, to everyone’s surprise and particularly his own, had made captain a month earlier when the previous captain retired, and his excitement was still buzzing in his voice every time he talked about the team. Kuroo listened to him ramble while he inspected Yaku’s painkillers and herbal medicine, and deliberately omitted the presence of haemorrhoid cream.

 _“Alright, Tetsu,”_ Bokuto said suddenly, cutting off his own description of his new second string setter, a guy called Akaashi who seemed to hate his guts. _“You’re holding out on me, man.”_

Kuroo laughed. “I am?”

 _“Yeah! It’s time, dude, we gotta do it.”_ Bokuto paused for dramatic effect, before yelling, _“To the bedroom!”_

It turned out to be easier said than done.

Kuroo reached the door to the bedroom, still standing ajar by a few inches from Yaku’s departure. He pushed it open a little way and reached inside to flip the light switch. A low growl greeted him.

“Uhh—”

Bokuto whined impatiently. _“Come onnnn, Tetsu come on I’m so bored.”_

“Yeah,” Kuroo muttered. He pushed the door a little further and came face to face with one of the cats sitting upright on Yaku’s bed. They were both long-faced Siameses with elegant eyes, dark brown toes and grubby markings. Kuroo was fairly certain the one facing him down and growling low in its throat was Rosso, the girl cat. She was a dirty cream colour except for her haunches and her tail which were brown like her toes. It made her look like she was wearing pants.

 _“Tetsu—un,”_ Bokuto whined again.

“Yeah, yeah,” Kuroo muttered. “What would you even do if I wasn’t here to entertain you?” He propped his phone between his ear and shoulder and extended his fingers towards the cat. “Hey there, cat,” he muttered. “Hey, buddy—”

Rosso hissed, and swiped a paw at him. Kuroo yelped and jumped backward. From the other side of the room, he spotted Porco step out of the open wardrobe, while Bokuto yelled excitedly in his ear.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” he said, speaking over Bokuto’s panicked questions. “I’m pretty sure Porco and Rosso hate me though.”

_"What? Like the movie? How can a movie hate you, bro?"_

"No dude, Yaku's cats."

 _"Ooh yeah that makes way more sense."_ Bokuto hummed thoughtfully. _“What did you do to them?"_

“Nothing! They're just evil or something.”

_"Pretty sure cats can't be evil. They’re like, amoral at worst. I bet you're trying way too hard, dude. I don't think cats respond well to desperation. Try playing it cool, like you don't care if they like you. Make them work for your attention. That's how I got my neighbor's cat to be my friend. I also bribed her with food."_

Kuroo sighed and eyed the cats. They had curled up together in the middle of the bed, both eyeing him coldly as they settled down to sleep. “Yeah, I'll put down some food for them,” he said, frowning. “I hope they come out of the bedroom eventually though, I wanna sleep at some point.”

 _“Oooh, yeah,”_ Bokuto said with renewed enthusiasm. _“The comfy bed! Bro, we should switch them while he's away. I'll totally help.”_

“That's not funny,” Kuroo said, even though he was laughing. “Yaku would literally break my legs if I stole his bed.”

Bokuto made a dismissive sound. _“Isn’t he really short? Like 150cm or something?”_

Kuroo bit his tongue to keep from laughing; he had a feeling that Yaku would _know_. He did not bother correcting Bokuto though. “He’s stronger than he looks,” he said instead, as he walked back to the kitchen to hunt out the cat food. “Possibly evil.”

Bokuto made a sharp tutting sound. _“Evil boyfriend, evil cats. I'm starting to get worried, Tetsu. Do you need to be rescued? Hey, what happened to the bedroom exploration?”_

Kuroo sniffed. “The cats kicked me out. I’ll let you know if extraction is required later when I try and get them off the bed.”

Bokuto made a sympathetic sound. _“Good luck with that, bro. Crap—Akaashi just emailed me about training camp, I’d better talk to him.”_

“Good luck with _that_ ,” Kuroo echoed, and Bokuto laughed in a strangely anguished way.

_“Yeah, man, thank you.”_

“Bye, Boku.”

 

—

 

The next day, Porco and Rosso hadn’t eaten any of the food Kuroo had tried the night before. He put down dried biscuits and two different types of wet food when they didn’t seem to want to try the first kind. Then he’d sent Kenma a photo of the full bowls followed by a string of complaints, to which Kenma had just replied with a gif that didn’t make any fucking sense.

Fuck you too, Kenma.

In the morning, the food was still there. The wet food had turned crusty and unappealing—even moreso than it had been before—and while some of the dried food had been scattered over the floor, it didn’t look as if any had actually been eaten. Kuroo pulled a face before cleaning it all up and setting out a new bowl of food. He chose a different flavour again, hoping that maybe they just didn’t like the other flavours and Yaku had forgotten to mention it.

Not that Yaku ever seemed to forget _anything_ —if anyone was going to hold a grudge for ten years it would be Yaku—but there was always the chance.

Anyway. The point was that Kuroo had done his best. He’d provided, he’d cleaned up after them, and he’d tried both ignoring and pleading with them.

Porco and Rosso, however, had rewarded him by stealing his dinner.

The theft was meticulously carried out. If Kuroo didn’t know better he’d suspect that they’d planned it together. He grilled two slices of mackerel while the rice cooker hummed away to itself on the counter. Yaku’s rice cooker was much nicer than Kuroo’s. It had probably been bought new, for a start, rather than rescued from a bin, and it sang little songs when it finished. Kuroo’s just made suspicious noises when you opened the lid, and had a tendency to make everything taste slightly metallic.

He really needed a new rice cooker.

The cats had been minding their own business so far. Kuroo was almost beginning to doubt their existence. Then, just as the rice cooker started tootling away to itself and Kuroo turned to switch it off, one of the cats leapt up onto the counter.

“Oi!” Kuroo yelled, leaping back in surprise. “Porco! Are you Porco? Get down!” He gestured with his hand, pointing at the cat and then swiping his hand down towards the floor. “Down!”

Porco stared back at him balefully, then cocked one leg into the air and bent to lick his ass.

“Fucker!” Kuroo said, staring at him. He took several steps forward, advancing on the cat. Porco glanced at him sidelong, then leapt off the counter and onto the top of the fridge.

A cascade of cereal boxes tumbled down as the cat scrabbled to get purchase and haul himself up. He obviously sensed that Kuroo was going to grab him and get him the fuck down from there as soon as humanly possible, because he ducked immediately behind the remaining boxes of cereal, squishing himself into the not-quite-Porco-sized gap so that they, too, crashed to the floor. Kuroo dived towards the fridge in a vain attempt to save them, but only ended up with a rain of sugary, gritty snacks in his hair and down his shirt.

“Shit,” he muttered, pushing himself up to a crouch and surveying the damage. He was surrounded by spilled cereal.

Groaning, Kuroo cleared away enough space with the side of his hand that he could stand up without crushing bits of breakfast into his socks, and straightened up just in time to see Rosso snatch one of his mackerel fillets off the stove.

“Oh my god, no!” he screamed, making a grab for the cat. Rosso leaped clear out of the way without a hint of concern, while Kuroo on the other hand managed to slip on a scattering of cereal, his foot skidding out from under him. He fell forward, banging his elbow on one of the kitchen chairs and landing hard on his knees.

“ _Shit,_ ” Kuroo said again, putting his hands on the floor and pushing himself back to sit on his heels. His knees and elbow were throbbing, pain radiating up his arm from his elbow. He cradled it, wincing. On the other side of the table he could hear the wet chewing sounds of Rosso chewing his mackerel.

Taking a deep breath, Kuroo pushed himself to his feet, using the counter to drag himself upright. From the top of the fridge, Porco mewed softly, peering over the edge with his bland yellow gaze.

“We,” Kuroo said, gesturing between himself and the cat. “Are _not friends_.”

Once he’d finished clearing up the mess of cereal, sweeping the spilled contents into the bin and vacuuming up any residual mess and crumbs, Kuroo decided it was time to call Bokuto again.

 _“Tetsu!”_ Bokuto called cheerfully when he answered the phone. _“Two calls in two days, dude, you must be so lonely.”_

Kuroo made a face. “I am not lonely, I’m hungry. The cat stole my dinner, we’re going out.”

 

—

 

Somehow, Bokuto had talked his way into coming back to meet the cats.

“They’re not all that,” Kuroo said as Bokuto trailed him from the station. A part of him felt guilty, as if he were betraying Yaku somehow, but there was just no defence for those monsters. “Seriously, they’re just—thieving little bastards.”

“Aw, they’re just acting out because daddy’s gone away,” Bokuto said in a cutesy voice that made Kuroo want to shove his face into a wall. He was tempted to do it anyway, but both of them were stuffed after two free refills of cheap ramen; if they started roughhousing now, there was a good chance that one or both of them would be puking by the end of it.

“Don’t—ugh, don’t call him daddy,” Kuroo said with a shudder. “That’s weird, dude.”

Bokuto cackled, and skipped up beside Kuroo to fling an arm around his shoulder. “Because he’s your sugar daddy, with his fancypants apartment—”

Kuroo put his hand over Bokuto’s face and shoved.

“Dude!” Bokuto yelled, choking on his laughter as he stumbled away, his arm slipping from Kuroo’s shoulders. “I’m just saying!

“Well don’t,” Kuroo said, giving him a snippy look that made Bokuto snort. Kuroo grinned back at him. “I honestly don’t know how you and Yakkun didn’t kill each other when you first met.”

Bokuto looked hurt. “Tetsu, how could you? Everyone loves me, I’m a people person!” He smirked and bumped his shoulder into Kuroo’s. “You’re the ones that hated each other on first sight.”

“Did not,” Kuroo muttered, unable to stop Bokuto’s smirk catching on his own mouth.

“Did too.”

“I wanted to bang him on first sight!”

“Yeah, but you also hated each other.”

Kuroo laughed. “Yeah, maybe a little.”

They reached Yaku’s building and Kuroo let them in with his key fob. The apartment was on the third floor and usually Kuroo would take the stairs, but he was so full of food that he didn’t think he could face it.

“Let’s take the elevator,” he suggested, stumbling over to it and pushing the button.

Bokuto looked at the closed doors. “Uh, bad news,” he said, glancing over his shoulder at Kuroo. He tapped his finger on a sheet of paper taped to the elevator door. “It’s broken down.”

Kuroo let out an agonised groan. “Noooo,” he whined, flopping against the wall. “Today is awful.”

Bokuto patted his shoulder. “C’mon, bro, I’ll carry you.”

“Get bent.”

“Nah, nah, it’s cool, I’m totally strong enough.” Bokuto turned his back to Kuroo and bent his knees, gesturing behind him with his hands. “Come on, man! Don’t you trust me?”

Kuroo straightened up and eyed him with a smirk. “Dude,” he said, starting to laugh. “You look like you’re waiting to be mounted.”

Bokuto huffed a laugh. “I am! Don’t leave me hanging!”

“You’re the best friend,” Kuroo said, putting his hands on Bokuto’s shoulders. “Ready?” Bokuto nodded and Kuroo jumped up onto his back, knees locking around Bokuto’s hips. Bokuto wrapped his arms around Kuroo’s thighs and shifted a couple of times to get comfortable, jostling Kuroo on his back in a way that made his guts shudder threateningly.

“Right!” Bokuto said cheerfully. “Let’s go.”

With a content sigh, Kuroo slumped against Bokuto’s back, tucking his face into the side of his neck. “I love you, man.”

Bokuto cackled. “You’re ramen drunk, Tetsu.”

“Yeah,” Kuroo sighed happily.

By the time they got to Yaku’s floor Bokuto was breathing heavily, but he insisted on carrying Kuroo right to the door.

“It’s just the food, man,” he said, hefting Kuroo against his back again. “I’m getting the soup sweats, it’s no biggie. I could carry you up ten flights, you oversized noodle.”

The cats were nowhere to be seen when Kuroo unlocked the door. On the plus side, at least they weren’t trying to escape.

“Kitty!” Bokuto called out softly before Kuroo had even found the light switch. He flipped it on and Bokuto peered into the apartment, bouncing on the spot. “Kitty kitty!” he tried again before making stupid kissy noises at the air.

Kuroo snorted at him. “Yeah, good luck with _that_.”

“Animals love me,” Bokuto told him in a matter of fact voice, but his eyes were lit up in anticipation.

A moment later the bedroom door creaked open a little way and one of the cats scampered out into the main room, mewing noisily. It was Rosso, trotting eagerly toward Bokuto with her tail stuck straight up in the air.

Kuroo stared. “What the hell,” he murmured.

“Yay!” Bokuto called, dropping to his knees and holding out one of his hands for the cat to sniff. Rosso hesitated for a moment before headbutting his fist, rubbing her face against his knuckles. “Look at you!” he cooed, carefully bringing up his other hand to scritch behind her ear. “Oooh, who’s a pretty kitty?”

“I don't believe it,” Kuroo said, folding his arms. He wrinkled his nose. “She's just doing that to spite me.”

Bokuto glanced up at him. “I don't think cats do that.” He stroked his hands along the cat's back and then scooped her up in his arms. She started purring. “Oh my god, Tetsu, she likes me! What's her name?”

Kuroo stopped sticking his tongue out at the cat and cleared his throat. “That's Rosso. She’s the brains of the operation.”

Bokuto made a delighted sound. “Are you a little mastermind?” he cooed at Rosso, bending down to nuzzle his face against the cat’s. “Yes you are!” Her purring was audible even from where Kuroo stood by the door.

“Unbelievable,” Kuroo muttered, turning away from the sight with a huff. “What a little tart.”

“They probably just miss the boyfriend, dude!” Bokuto said, his voice a little muffled.

Kuroo rolled his eyes as he filled the kettle. “I'm his boyfriend, not them. And I was talking about you anyway.”

Bokuto gasped loudly and sat up. “ _I'm_ the little tart?”

“Aren't you?”

“Probably,” Bokuto admitted, one side of his mouth curving up in a guilty smile. He snuggled the cat closer to his chest, but that proved to be his undoing. Rosso squirmed in his arms and leapt away from him, digging her back paws into his chest as she went.

“Oof!” Bokuto yelled in surprise. “So much for cuddling.”

Kuroo snorted. “It's way more than I got.”

He opened the cupboard and found himself once again charmed by the extent of Yaku's collection of silly joke mugs, before selecting a bright orange Naruto cup and a powder pink Sailor Moon cup.

“Ooh, dibs on Sailor Moon,” Bokuto said, coming up behind him and wrapping his arms around Kuroo's waist, chin tucking into his shoulder.

“Duh.” Kuroo reached up again for the tea and Bokuto tightened his grip. “What's with the heimlich, Kou?”

Bokuto hummed happily in his ear. “You said you wanted a cuddle—”

“From a cat.”

“—and you're lonely, bro, I can tell.”

Kuroo sighed and relaxed back against him for a few moments. He liked that Bokuto was so generous with his affection, offering it to more or less anyone that would take it, but never meaning it any less. Kuroo patted Bokuto's arm where it was wrapped around his stomach.

“Thanks, Kou.”

Bokuto bounced away from him again with a grin. “So, heard from the boyfriend since he left?”

Kuroo shook his head. “He's only been gone one day. And anyway, I told him to enjoy his holiday and not worry about me.”

"So, you're not stalking his instagram or whatever?"

Kuroo frowned. "I have a _little_ class," he said, sounding more scandalised than he should for someone who had gone straight to Yaku's twitter page the moment he woke up, eager for updates. "Besides, he--"

He stopped again when he was interrupted by a squeaking sound on the other side of the room. When he glanced up, Bokuto was hanging over the back of the couch, dangly mouse toy in hand, while Rosso chased it back and forth.

"Unbelievable," Kuroo said, watching them for a moment. "She has literally _never_ played with me."

"I told you," Bokuto insisted, giving him an encouraging smile. "Animals love me! It's not you, man."

"Oh yeah?" Kuroo muttered, turning around to grab the mugs. He walked over to the couch with them and settled himself on one of the floor pillows. "Tell me about these animals that love you so much."

Bokuto made a thoughtful noise. "Well, my mom's got birds, I think they kinda like me, and my roommate has fish, but who even knows with fish."

"I don't think they really have the capacity for loving people," Kuroo said, turning his mug around in his hands. He was, he realised, far too full of ramen broth still to manage very much tea, but it was making him feel calmer nonetheless. Making tea was always the first thing Yaku did when he got home. He was a funny creature of habit in many ways, and it was comforting to go about the same routine as if he was still here.

"Hey," Bokuto said, nudging Kuroo with his toes.

Kuroo jumped, almost spilling his tea, and sat up straight. "What?"

Bokuto laughed at him. "I was talking to you, dude. What's on your mind?"

"Nothing," Kuroo muttered, turning away again to hide his face. "I thought you guys were busy over there."

"Oh my god, Tetsun, you totally miss him."

Kuroo scowled into his tea. "Shut up." He raised the cup and took a tentative sip, even though he knew it was still far too hot.

"Babe, that's adorable, you should just tell him you miss him."

"Fuck," Kuroo spluttered, spitting tea down himself. He wiped his chin and turned to glare at Bokuto. "Are you crazy?"

Bokuto just gave him a beatific smile. "What? I'd totally tell my boyfriend I missed him if he wasn't around."

"Yeah, but—I mean, we don't—” Kuroo stammered. "We're not...like that. I mean, Yaku's not like that." He sighed and patted awkwardly at the damp spot on the front of his t-shirt. "Whatever."

"Well, there's—oh my god, did you see that? She just jumped so high! What a good kitty."

Kuroo rolled his eyes and pulled his phone out of his pocket. If Bokuto was going to sit around making gooey eyes at the cats until he left, Kuroo could do the same. He pulled up twitter again and checked Yaku's feed. He hadn't posted much since leaving; a few tweets from the airport in Tokyo, a couple on the other end. There was one messy conversation between him and his friends, and when Kuroo followed the thread out of idle curiosity, he found a photo of Yaku and two of his friends sitting by the side of a pool. Yaku hadn't responded to it yet, and he wasn't tagged in it either, so it was a miracle that Kuroo had found it at all.

"Hey, it's Yakkun!" Bokuto said, leaning over his shoulder.

Kuroo instinctively clutched his phone to his chest and Bokuto whined in disappointment. "Aw, bro—”

"Stop ogling my boyfriend," Kuroo said, laughing at him.

Bokuto just shrugged. "He's cute."

"He's picky."

"Yeah, but—” Bokuto cut himself off with a gasp. "Woah, woah, are you saying I'm not hot enough for him?"

Kuroo smirked. "You're just not his type," he said, unable to resist winding Bokuto up. He didn't want to deal with the fallout, however, and he quickly jumped in again, saying, "Hey, so tell me about this new setter again?"

By the time Bokuto left—after at least an hour of extolling the virtues and flaws of the infamous Akaashi, which mostly seemed to consist of 'really talented, _really_ gorgeous' in the first column and 'totally hates my guts' in the second—Kuroo was exhausted.

Porco, who had finally left the bedroom only to curl up in Bokuto’s lap, seemed to be staging a dirty protest now that Bokuto had gone. While Kuroo went to brush his teeth, Porco pooped right in front of his litter tray, and Rosso wriggled her way into a kitchen cupboard that Kuroo had unthinkingly left ajar. Kuroo came back to find packets of food strewn across the floor and the kitchen counter, and Rosso calmly washing her paws in the middle of it.

“Are you shitting me,” he said, staring from one to the other.

 

—

 

“Hey, Kuroo!”

Kuroo turned at the sound of his voice and spotted Sawamura waving him over from the other side of the cafeteria. He waved back before picking up his tray, and got halfway across the cafeteria before he realised he'd left his debit card at the till, and made it halfway across again before realising he hadn't picked up any chopsticks.

“You know you don't _have_ to sit with me,” Sawamura teased when Kuroo finally made it to the table and set down his tray.

“Never doubt my love, Sawamura,” Kuroo said with forced cheer, taking a seat opposite him. “Are we still up for three on three tonight?”

Sawamura nodded while he chewed his mouthful, frowning slightly. “But,” he said, finally swallowing, “if you're bringing Bokuto then get him to bring Oikawa for my team, otherwise it's totally imbalanced.”

“Yeah, I'll see,” Kuroo said, sprinkling chilli flakes on his curry. “I mean, Oikawa has no life, I doubt he'll be busy.” He grinned ruefully. “Not that I'm one to talk.”

Sawamura made a sympathetic sound and tapped the edge of Kuroo's tray with his chopsticks. “Hey, you okay? Is this about finding a place in the city? I know you already nixed staying with Bokuto but if you need some space from your mom, you're welcome to our spare for a couple of weeks.”

Kuroo shook his head. “Thanks, Sawamura,” he said, sighing into his lunch. “It's not that, I'm just—tired, I guess.”

“Is there too much on your plate? I can redistribute—”

“No, no,” Kuroo said, sighing as he reached up to push his hair out of his eyes. “It's not work at all, it's—heh, it sounds pretty stupid out loud.”

Sawamura pointed a finger gun at him, a habit which made him look like a dorky uncle. This had been explained to him many times, but he had yet to stop. “Try me,” he said, grinning at Kuroo. “I guarantee I've heard something stupider already today.”

Kuroo laughed. “Yeah, okay. Well, I'm staying at a friend's apartment this week while he's away—”

Sawamura lit up. “I remember!” he said, looking delighted with himself. “Pet sitting, right?”

“Cat sitting,” Kuroo corrected with a wince.

To his surprise, Sawamura also wilted at the news. “Oh, I thought it was a dog for some reason.” He smiled. “I'm sure...cats are nice pets too though?”

Kuroo groaned. “Yeah, in theory.”

“Daichi!”

They both looked up in surprise at the excited voice, and Kuroo grinned when Michimiya slammed her tray down beside Sawamura, making him jump.

“Yui!” he grumbled, grabbing for his own napkin and reaching over to her tray. “You spilled your drink.”

Yui grabbed his shoulder and planted a kiss on top of his head, grinning at his half-hearted complaint, before taking a seat beside him.

“Hi, Kuroo,” she said cheerfully, elbowing away Sawamura’s attempts to mop up her tray. “Are you alright? You look tired. Is this one working you too hard?” She jabbed Sawamura in the chest with her elbow and smiled when he choked and muttered her name again in complaint.

“I'm fine, Micchan,” Kuroo said, grinning at her. “You seem in high spirits today.”

She nodded. “I would tell you but it's not the kind of thing you wanna hear over your lunch,” she said with an exaggerated wink. “Plus, Daichi will probably write me up again for inappropriate work conversations—”

“Yui,” Sawamura moaned in protest. “I wouldn't have to if you'd just stop talking about our sex life in the office!”

“If you don't like it, don't listen.”

“I can't get away from it!” Sawamura protested, setting down his chopsticks. “If it's not you then it's Suga nattering away about his latest conquest.”

Michimiya rolled her eyes. “Just because you're allergic to talking about sex doesn't mean the rest of us are.” She made a dismissive gesture with her free hand. “Anyway, Suga isn't that bad.”

“He answers the phone while he's having sex! Who does that?”

“I think you just answered your own question, Captain Chastity.”

Kuroo smothered a laugh, but Michimiya caught it and grinned at him. “How are things with your relationship, Kuroo?” she asked, before grabbing the remainder of her drink and sucking viciously on the straw. Sawamura blushed and ducked his head to focus on his food.

“Pretty good, I think,” Kuroo said, busying himself with his own meal before it got cold. “It's only been a couple of months, but I—I _really_ like her.” He smiled a little self-consciously. “Kinda worried I'm gonna mess things up.”

“Oh, no,” Michimiya soothed. “Of course you won't, I'm sure h—she's crazy about you.” She smiled apologetically and Kuroo shrugged off the slip up.

“Anyway, yeah, I'm looking after these two cats right now and I'm awful at it—”

Michimiya’s face brightened. “Cats?” she said excitedly. “Oh my god, I _love_ cats! What kind are they? What are their names? Are they staying with you?”

Sawamura groaned, making a face like he was suffering with indigestion. Michimiya elbowed him again. A meatball popped out of the grasp of his chopsticks and flopped onto the table with a sad, sticky sound. Sawamura looked thoroughly dejected.

“It's still good,” Kuroo said, giving him a sympathetic look. “You know, if you want a scientific opinion. If you pick it up right now it doesn't really have time to accumulate any shit on it.”

“Thanks,” Sawamura muttered, poking at it sadly before scooping it up again. “That was very scientific, Professor Kuroo.”

“Gu—uys,” Michimiya whined, drumming the fat end of her chopsticks on the table. “Fuck Daichi's balls, I want to hear about the _cats_.”

Sawamura glared at her. “I will write you up, so help me,” he said in a grumpy tone.

“You can meet them, if you want,” Kuroo said, and instantly regretted it. He really had to stop just inviting people to Yaku’s apartment.

"Actually, we—”

"We'd _love_ to," Michimiya said, her eyes shining. "Thank you! Are you free tomorrow night?"

Kuroo opened his mouth to reply, but before he could reply he noticed Sawamura staring at him with wide, horrified eyes. "I—” Kuroo hedged. "Uh, I'm not sure if—”

Michimiya was on the edge of her seat, wide-eyed with excitement. Kuroo felt his willpower crumble.

"Yup, completely free," he said with a crooked smile.

Sawamura collapsed to the table with a groan.

"Daichi!" Michimiya said, leaning over him. "Are you alright? Did you eat too much?"

Sawamura made a helpless sound.

"I need to get back to the lab," Kuroo said, deciding to cut his losses and abandon the rest of his curry. He could grab a snack from the vending machines instead. Sawamura raised his head and Kuroo gave him a thumbs up. "Stay strong, Sawamura. I want to defeat you at your best tonight."

 

—

 

When Kuroo got back to Yaku's apartment after the three on three with the others, he put food down for the cats and then went straight to take a bath. The cats paid him as little attention as he showed to them, so all in all, things could have been worse. Kuroo closed the bathroom door and got into the bath with his phone.

He put some music on, and was just putting the phone to one side again when it chirped with a new email. Kuroo checked; it was from Yaku.

Kuroo's heart leaped and he opened it up to read.

 _Okay_  
_I know we said we wouldn't talk the whole time I was gone but I know you've spent the past three days trying NOT to email me because you're a SAP, and in recognition of your hard work, this is for you._  
_-M_

Kuroo bit his lip on a sappy smile, then flicked over to the attachment and opened it.

It was a photo of Yaku, obviously. He was in bed, the sheets pulled up to his hips but not _really_ hiding the fact that he was naked underneath them, or where his other hand was.

Kuroo stared at the photo. Yaku had caught the sun, and the skin on his nose was peeling slightly. It should've been gross, but on Yaku it was adorable. His freckles had multiplied too in the sun; they were most obvious on his face, but they were scattered all over his shoulders, arms and chest as well, revealing that he'd been walking around shirtless at some point. Kuroo sighed helplessly. Yaku was giving the camera the same look of weary affection he often bestowed on Kuroo, the one that Kuroo had come to learn meant _I like you but I'm not sure why_. That particular look always made Kuroo feel like he was having a mild heart attack, especially with the way Yaku's face so often melted into a real smile the longer they looked at one another. He liked knowing that Yaku couldn't resist him, much as he might protest.

Kuroo tapped to send a reply and lifted his phone to take a selfie. The results were not good. He groaned and tried again. And again.

On the seventh attempt he gave up trying to take the perfect shot and just attached the last one he'd taken. It caught his face and chest, the rest of him buried in a mound of bubble bath. He was giving the camera a sly wink, which Yaku would either appreciate or find annoying. Possibly both.

 _It's so sweet when you break your own rules for me_ he wrote back, grinning to himself.

Kuroo put his phone to one side and tipped his head back with a sigh, thinking about Yaku, warm and freckled and curled up in bed.

“Fuck,” he moaned, slipping one hand below the surface of the water to touch himself. He realised that he hadn’t jerked off since Yaku left; it had seemed rude to do it in Yaku's bed, even if he did plan to change the sheets, and he’d been so preoccupied with all the cat drama that he’d sort of forgotten to do it at all.

"Ahh, Yakkun," he gasped softly, pretending in his head that it was Yaku's hands on him. He slipped down a little further into the water, sliding his other hand across his chest and scraping at himself with his nails. Yaku was rough in bed, taking everything as a challenge, and it always made Kuroo feel like he was going to explode in the _best_ way.

_Mrrrowr?_

Outside the bathroom, one of the cats started to claw at the door.

Kuroo groaned and ducked down until his ears were submerged by the water. He tightened his grip, trying to bury himself in the idea of Yaku, in the memory of his touch and his smell.

The scratching got louder.

"Fuck!" Kuroo yelled, sitting upright with a splash and a rush of water.

_Mmrrrrrr_

"Fine," Kuroo snarled, pushing himself upright. Water streamed off him and he reached for his towel with a scowl. "Fucking fine, whatever."

He stepped out of the bath and stalked to the door. When he wrenched it open, Porco was sitting there, looking up at him and mewling plaintively.

Kuroo glared at him. "If I die of blue balls, I'm blaming you."

 

—

 

"Are you really sure this is okay?" Sawamura asked for the fifteenth time as they approached Yaku's apartment building.

Kuroo was not sure, but felt he'd come too far to back down now. He shrugged, and gave them an expansive smile. "It's fine, it's fine. Besides, you guys got me dinner, I owe you a cat visit."

"You really don't," Sawamura said, repressing a shudder.

"Yeah!" Michimiya added, either missing or ignoring Sawamura's reaction. "And you should come over for dinner soon, and bring Yaku! I really want to meet him."

Kuroo smiled weakly. "Sure, that's kind of you, th—”

"Don't be such a sap," she said, waving her hands. "Besides, it's Daichi who'll be doing the cooking, so he's the one you can suck up to."

Sawamura caught his eye and Kuroo couldn't help wincing. It was bad enough subjecting Sawamura to this visit that he was clearly unhappy about, without making him cook for them too.

"Sawamura—”

"You should come," Daichi said, surprising him with a genuine smile. "Yui would just eat prepackaged noodles all the time if I wasn't around. It'll be nice to have some company that actually appreciates my cooking."

"I appreciate it!"

The gentle bickering continued all the way to Yaku's front door. Kuroo said a silent prayer as he unlocked it that the cats would behave. Beside him, Michimiya was practically vibrating.

"Yui, calm down," Daichi said in a fond voice, putting a hand on her shoulder. "They're just cats."

Michimiya snorted. "Philistine."

Kuroo let them inside and set down his work things. He went automatically to the kitchen and put on some water to boil to make tea, before realising that neither Sawamura nor Michimiya had been here before, and were both waiting politely near the door.

"God, come in, come in," he said quickly, laughing when Michimiya sighed in relief. "I'm making tea, if you want some. The cats should be around somewhere—” He reached into the cupboard for the box of dried cat food and offered it to Michimiya. "Here, you can feed them if you want. Just put a little in each bowl."

At the sound of the box rattling, Porco stood up from his sleepy perch on the cat tower and stretched leisurely.

"Oh my gosh!" Michimiya yelped, reaching out to grab Sawamura's arm. "Daichi, look!"

Sawamura pulled a face. "Cute," he said, in a flat tone.

Kuroo grinned as he turned away to grab mugs and pour out the tea. "That's Porco, he's not so bad. The other one is Rosso, and she's an evil genius."

"Porco Rosso," Sawamura said, a hint of amusement pulling at his mouth at last.

"I'm dating a dork," Kuroo said, shrugging one shoulder and smiling to himself. "He's actually pretty cool in like...every other way though."

Michimiya made a cooing sound. "Oh my god, so _cute_."

Kuroo shrugged. "They're okay, I guess. They seem to like everyone except me though."

Sawamura laughed at him. "I think she meant you, Kuroo." He glanced back at Michimiya for confirmation and she nodded. "Yeah, you're pretty smitten, it's adorable."

"I invite you to my home, Sawamura—”

"It's not your home."

“—and this is what I get."

Sawamura grinned at him and reached for his tea. "Smitten kitten," he said, raising one eyebrow at Kuroo before turning away.

Heat rushed to Kuroo's cheeks and he threw a filthy look at Sawamura's back. Because, the worst part was, he couldn't even argue with it. "Yeah, yeah," he grumbled, picking up his and Michimiya's mugs and carrying them over to the couch. He took a seat beside Sawamura, who was sitting in the far corner, well away from where Michimiya was trying to tempt Porco with the box of biscuits and a cat toy.

"Just let him eat it in peace," Sawamura said, giving Porco a patently unimpressed look over the rim of his mug.

Michimiya looked up guiltily. "I am!"

Sawamura rolled his eyes and turned to Kuroo instead. "Hey, how's it going with your new lab assistant—”

"Ahh!" Michimiya yelled, sitting up. "No shop talk! Come on, guys, I'm exhausted, and you have all day tomorrow to talk about work."

"Fine, fine," Sawamura sighed, giving her an indulgent smile. Kuroo wondered if his own face looked even half that sappy when he was looking at Yaku. It was probably worse. "Can we talk about volleyball?"

Michimiya pretended to consider it for a moment, then shrugged. "I actually like volleyball, so go for it."

"Michimiya, you don't like your job?" Kuroo asked.

"Ah!" she said, holding her finger up. "We'll talk about it next week when you come over. I'm here to play with cats."

Sawamura laughed, but the sound was cut short when Rosso suddenly leapt up onto the arm of the couch beside him. Sawamura yelped, his arm jerking and spilling tea all over himself and Kuroo.

"Fuck!" Kuroo yelled, rolling off the couch. Sawamura leapt to his feet, swearing under his breath.

"Where—where did it _come from_ ," he hissed, backing away and tripping over Kuroo in the process. "I'm—shit, Kuroo, are you okay? Oh my god, I'm so sorry, here—”

He slammed his mug down on the coffee table and reached to help Kuroo up. One side of Kuroo's work trousers were soaked, and there was a wet stain slowly sinking into the couch cushion.

"Wow," Kuroo muttered, wincing a little at the cooling wet patch on his leg. "You really don't like cats, huh?"

Sawamura winced. "I'm really sorry."

"Daichi," Michimiya said in a matter of fact tone. "That was an _epic_ fuck up."

Kuroo waved off Sawamura's concerns and grabbed him some paper towels to mop up the spilled tea before he had a heart attack. According to Michimiya it was best to just leave him to it, so Kuroo went to change into some sweatpants. He fetched a second pair for Sawamura, but when he came back out to the main room he found Michimiya doubled over laughing while Sawamura glared at her from on top one of the kitchen chairs.

"Sawamura," Kuroo said, feeling a smirk tug at his mouth. "Are you in a cartoon?”

"It keeps rubbing on my legs," Sawamura whined, twisting around to peer down at Rosso, who was winding around the chair legs with intent. "Why is it doing that?"

"She wants to be friends," Michimiya said, in the tone of voice of someone explaining to a small child. "She's not going to hurt you, just give her a bit of attention, stroke her ears or something."

Sawamura looked disgusted. "But she’s dirty."

Kuroo let out a gleeful cackle. Unsurprisingly, Sawamura shot him a filthy look, but Kuroo was gone. "Sawamura," he said, still giggling. "They don't go outside, and they spend like three hours a day washing themselves. They're probably cleaner than you are." He held the spare pair of sweatpants out as a peace offering. "Here, go put these on."

With a reluctant groan, Sawamura stepped down from the chair. "Fine," he muttered, carefully sidestepping Rosso and crossing the room to take the sweatpants from Kuroo. "But I don't want to stroke them."

"This is very unmanly, you know!" Michimiya called after him as he vanished into the bathroom.

Kuroo laughed at her, walking back to resume his seat on the now-slightly-damp couch.

"I don't think they like me," Michimiya said in a voice of immense suffering. She was holding a stick with a dangly mouse on the end of it, waving it sadly like a flag of surrender. Porco and Rosso were ignoring Michimiya, the mouse, _and_ the cat biscuits, and had instead followed Sawamura to the bathroom. Rosso was licking her paws, while Porco had just sprawled himself right in front of the door like some kind of fluffy tripwire.

"They don't like me either," Kuroo said with a sympathetic smile. "But they loved Bokuto, which only tells me that there must be something wrong with them, so I wouldn't worry."

Michimiya snorted. "If you're this kind to your friends, I dread to think what you say about your enemies."

"Bokuto's a special case," Kuroo said with a shrug. "It's different when you've known someone since middle school."

"That's true," she said, giving up on the dangly mouse toy and reaching for her mug. "Thank you for the tea."

"My pleasure."

They sipped in silence for a minute. On the other side of the bathroom door the toilet flushed, and Kuroo chuckled.

"Should we warn him about the cats?"

"If we don't, he might scream like a little girl," Michimiya said, with an evil look.

Kuroo laughed. "How does he survive you and Suga? I feel like he deserves a medal."

Michimiya sighed happily. "He absolutely does."

Sawamura did, in fact, scream like a little girl. Michimiya forwarded the video on snapchat to everyone she'd ever met.

It's possible that deliberately allowing his friend to fall over one of the cats made him a bad cat uncle, but Kuroo was momentarily preoccupied with hazing Sawamura, and forgot to care that Yaku might disown him if he fucked up. In the chaos that ensued from Sawamura opening the door, screaming at the sight of the cats, and tripping over Kuroo's too-long sweatpants, Rosso disappeared.

"Kuroo," Michimiya said in a strange, anxious voice when he got back from apologising to the next door neighbour for the noise. "Rosso's gone missing."

Kuroo felt his blood run cold. "What?"

"He ran off," Sawamura said in a disgruntled tone, shoving ineffectually at Porco, who had curled up beside him on the couch with his paws on Sawamura's leg. "After I tripped over him."

"After you screamed your head off."

"Yes, Yui, thank you," Sawamura said coldly. "We were all there."

"Wait," Kuroo said, hurriedly closing the door behind him. "What do you mean she's missing?" He looked at his hand still on the door and fear plummeted through him. "Oh, shit, did—did she get out? Oh, fuck, _fuck_ —"

"Wait, wait," Michimiya said, getting to her feet and hurrying over. "Don't panic, I'm sure she's just hiding in a box or something. We'll help you find her."

Kuroo nodded weakly. He could already hear Yaku's voice in his head, chewing him out over losing one of his precious cats, refusing to see him ever again. Kuroo swallowed and nodded again.

"Okay," he said. "I—okay, yeah. I'll check the hallway."

Smiling encouragingly, Michimiya patted his arm. "We'll find her, don't worry! I'm pretty sure she didn't get out, you know. She'll just be hunkered down somewhere."

"Yeah," he murmured, reaching for the door handle again. "Yeah, thanks. Um. I'll be back soon."

An hour later, Kuroo had checked the hallway, all the neighbouring apartments, the stairwell, and the elevator. He went back to the apartment periodically during his search but Michimiya and Sawamura merely looked increasingly apologetic each time.

"Oh, god," Kuroo said eventually, collapsing onto the couch and dislodging a disgruntled Porco, who was apparently unconcerned by their frantic search. Kuroo put his head in his hands with a groan. "This is it, he's going to break up with me, and then probably ruin my life, and I can't even blame him, I'm a terrible, terrible cat sitter. What if she got outside? I'll never find her, she'll just be gone, I—”

Sawamura grabbed him by the shoulders and tugged him up sharply. "Hey!"

Kuroo dropped his hands into his lap and stared up at Sawamura. "Remember me fondly, Sawamura," he said in a weary voice. "Because Yaku will definitely murder me for this."

"Nobody's murdering anybody," Sawamura said, giving him a gentle shake. "We've only been looking for a little while, I'm sure she—”

"Got you!" Michimiya screeched from the other side of the room.

Both men jumped.

“Yui!” Sawamura scolded. “Stop shouting, I’ve had enough scares for one night!”

“But I found her!” Michimiya said, waving them over. She pointed at a tiny gap between the washing machine and the dishwasher. “See!”

Sawamura pulled out his phone and switched on the light before shining it into the gap between the two appliances. A low growl greeted them, followed by the flash of two narrowed eyes.

“How the living fuck—” Kuroo said, going limp with relief. He grabbed onto the back of a kitchen chair for support. “Fine, okay, at least I'm not going to die alone.”

“Kuroo,” Sawamura said, using his Manager voice. “You're being pathetic. Get over here and help us get this thing out.”

Michimiya made a disgusted sound and reached out to cuff him on the arm. “Be nice, Daichi. She doesn't want to come out just to see your mean, grumpy face.”

“I am not—”

“Guys, guys,” Kuroo sighed. “Allow me.”

As it turned out, Rosso would not be lured out. After tempting her with cat biscuits, chicken liver treats, catnip balls, squeaky toys, and the last of Kuroo's mackerel, all to no avail, Kuroo finally succumbed to panic.

He had tried reaching in to grab her, but at the approach of a big grasping hand, Rosso would either retreat further into the darkness, or respond with her claws. An hour later, with several colorful bandaids on his hands and nothing to show for it, Kuroo sank into a kitchen chair and dropped his head onto the table.

“Guys,” he moaned into the surface. “I'm so sorry.”

“Maybe we could move the machine,” Sawamura said, already rolling up his sleeves in a manner that was terrifyingly reminiscent of someone's dad starting a doomed DIY project.

“Don't be an idiot,” Michimiya said, jumping in front of him with her arms spread. “You might crush her!”

Sawamura didn't look all that upset at the prospect, not that Kuroo could blame him.

“Okay,” Kuroo said, steeling his courage. He got slowly to his feet, curling his fingers into determined fists. “I know what to do.”

Michimiya and Sawamura watched him in awed silence.

Kuroo reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He took a deep breath.

“I’m going to call Kenma.”

 

—

 

Kuroo should have expected this.

Almost two hours after Rosso first disappeared, the doorbell sounded, help finally arrived. But when Kuroo opened the door, expecting to see Kenma, he was only somewhat surprised to find Hinata there instead.

“Oh,” Kuroo said, his mind going blank. “I—hey, Hinata. I was expecting Kenma?”

“Hi Kuroo!” Hinata said, grinning as he stepped inside and bent to unlace his walking boots. “Kenma's busy, he asked me to stop by on my way home.”

Hinata was still dressed in his work clothes, which Kuroo only discerned thanks to the embroidered Tokyo Zoo emblem on his polo shirt. Hinata was the sort of person that wore shorts no matter the weather.

“Oh, jeez,” Kuroo muttered, closing the door and following him in. “I'm so sorry, Hinata, I didn't realise he would ask you to fill in—”

“It's fine!” Hinata said cheerfully, stepping inside. “So where's the c—Oh, hey!” he said, presumably to Sawamura and Michimiya. “I'm Hinata Shouyou, I live with Kuroo's friend Kenma.”

Kuroo followed him into the main room and made brief introductions. Sawamura looked intensely uncomfortable, probably because of his ill-fitting borrowed sweatpants, but Hinata didn't seem to have noticed.

“She's in here,” Kuroo said, clapping a hand on Hinata’s shoulder and pointing him to the gap that Rosso had wedged herself into. “Hey, you want a drink or something?”

“Nah,” Hinata said, shaking his head. “I need to get home, thanks though.”

Kuroo winced. As if he didn't feel guilty enough calling Kenma over something so stupid, now he had the extra guilt of Hinata getting dragged in too after a long day at work.

If he minded, Hinata didn't show it. He crouched down beside the washing machine and eyed the cat thoughtfully. “Hm. She's right at the back, I hope I can reach.”

“Well, we've tried everything,” Kuroo said, going to the fridge to fetch a soda for Hinata. He was going to be here longer than he realised. “Treats, toys, sweet talk, threats—”

Before he could finish, Hinata reached in and extracted his arm again roughly 0.2 seconds later with Rosso caught by the scruff. She started to struggle once he'd gotten her free of the gap, and Hinata dropped her onto the kitchen tiles with a burst of laughter.

“Okay, okay,” he said, grinning when she hissed at him. “I get it.”

He got to his feet and smiled at everyone's stunned faces. “Was there anything else?”

Kuroo stared at him.

“That was amazing!” Michimiya said, sounding delighted.

Sawamura sounded less than delighted as he sighed and asked, “Why couldn't _you_ do that, Kuroo?”

“Ahh, it's a zookeeper thing I guess,” Hinata said, ruffling the hair at the back of his head self-consciously. “You know, you just gotta reach in and show no fear.”

Michimiya was starry eyed. “That's so awesome, Hinata-san.”

Hinata laughed. “Just Hinata is fine. Hey, if you guys come to the zoo, get Kuroo to tell me in advance, I can give you a tour or something.”

For perhaps the millionth time, Kuroo couldn't help wondering how Kenma had managed to find and keep hold of such a pure ray of sunshine. He sighed and held out the soda.

“Again, I'm so sorry to trouble you,” he said, hoping he actually sounded sincere. Kenma was always accusing him of sounding insincere. As if he could help the way his voice sounded.

Hinata took the drink with a curious tilt of his head. “It's really okay, it's on my way home, and I'm glad we got her out!” He glanced at his watch and winced. “Crap, I need to get home, Kenma's cooking.” He turned and saluted Sawamura and Michimiya. “Nice to meet you both! Don't forget about that tour!”

“Well,” Sawamura said when Hinata was gone, his departure leaving Yaku's apartment with a strange, empty feeling. “Still want a cat, Yui?”

 

—

 

Kuroo was sure, after everything he had endured so far, Porco and Rosso couldn’t possibly have anything worse lined up for him.

He was wrong.

The next day, he got home late from a gruelling day in the lab to find that Rosso was in the process of heaving up furballs onto Yaku’s rug.

“Shit.”

Porco looked over at him from his lounging position on the table, as if to say, _Right?_

As soon as she was finished heaving, Rosso galloped into the bedroom and dove under the bed before Kuroo could grab her. It took him ten minutes to flush her out with threat of a spray bottle, and another ten minutes of searching to discover that Yaku didn't own any carpet cleaner.

Sighing heavily, Kuroo changed into his comfortable jeans and a t-shirt and trudged down to the convenience store to buy some cleaning product.

His phone rang as he was standing in line, and he answered on the last vibrate.

“Hey?”

_“Hey kiddo, how's it going?”_

Kuroo deflated with a weary groan. “Mom, hey.”

_“You sound tired, Tetsu. Everything okay?”_

“Just a long day.”

They chatted while he paid for the carpet cleaner and a pre-packaged bento, succumbing for once to the siren call of ready-made junk food. His mom laughed her ass off at his descriptions of the cats and his misadventures with them. By the time he was unlocking the door to Yaku's apartment again, they'd moved on to discussing the man himself.

Yaku was itchy about his family, and Kuroo had no real expectation of meeting them any time soon, if at all, but Yaku had met Kuroo's mom almost by necessity. Kuroo really needed to find his own place.

 _“You'd better bring Morisuke around again soon,”_ Kuroo's mom said sternly while he was kicking off his shoes. _“I know he doesn't feed himself right.”_

“Mom, you're a terrible cook.”

_“Yeah, but I know **you'll** feed him.”_

Kuroo snorted, glancing around for the cats as he stepped into the kitchen. “Stop mothering him, he's already got two parents, he doesn't need another one.”

_“Well he could stand to have a parent who doesn't mind him bringing a boy home.”_

Kuroo sighed. “Yeah, well.” The cats were nowhere in sight, so he pulled out the carpet cleaner and bent down to spray it on the stain that Rosso had left behind.

There was a little wastepaper bin in the bedroom; Kuroo fetched it to put over the stain and keep the cats off it. But as he stepped out of the bedroom and pulled the door shut behind him, an unholy screech from above made him yell and throw his phone across the hallway.

“What the fuck, what the _fuck_!”

Before Kuroo could move, Porco leapt down from the top of the bedroom door and shot past him, diving under the couch. Kuroo realised that he was trembling. He tiptoed across the hall and picked up his miraculously unbroken phone.

“Um, Mom?”

_“Tetsu! What the fuck?”_

He winced. “Language, Mom.”

_“Tetsurou—”_

“It's fine, it's fine. I think I shut the cat's tail in the door though.”

_“Oh no, poor thing.”_

“I'd better go find him. It's getting late anyway, I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

_“Morisuke is gonna kill you if you broke his cat.”_

“Thanks, Mom, super helpful.”

 

—

 

“Hey, uh, Kenma?”

_“Kuro.”_

Thank god for Kenma, who didn’t bother to question Kuroo calling him in the middle of the night even though he finally kept sensible hours himself. Kuroo swallowed the rocky lump in his throat with difficulty. “Uh, um, how do you—shit, how do you know if you've broken a cat?”

Kenma was silent for several moments, but Kuroo was used to this. It was infuriating, but any attempt to rush Kenma into speaking before he was ready only ever resulted in longer delays. Kuroo bit his tongue and waited.

_“Kuro, you broke a cat?”_

Kuroo winced. “Maybe? I don't know! It made a really scary noise, and—”

 _“Is it breathing?”_ Kenma interrupted. _“Is there blood?”_

“No no,” Kuroo said quickly. “I mean, yeah it's breathing, I trapped his tail in the door.”

Kenma made a hissing sound which was suspiciously cat-like in itself, before the sound melted into a groan of mild exasperation. _“Well,”_ Kenma said after a few moments. _“That's unfortunate, but it could happen to anyone. Bring him down to the clinic.”_

Kuroo glanced at his watch. “Now?”

 _“I'll meet you there,”_ Kenma said with a weary sigh. _“I'm on call for  
emergencies anyway.”_

Kenma was already waiting when Kuroo finally arrived at the veterinary clinic. He unlocked the door when Kuroo hammered on it anxiously, and stood there yawning in place of a greeting.

“Sorry,” Kuroo said, stumbling inside with the cat basket cradled in his arms. “Fuck, Kenma, thank you so much, I’m so sorry.”

Kenma waved him off, his other hand smothering the remainder of his yawn. He was wearing a blue scrub shirt over Pokemon-themed pyjama pants, his hair tied back in a messy bun that looked as if it had been slept on. “Through here,” Kenma said, locking the door again behind Kuroo, before walking around the reception desk and opening the door to one of the exam rooms.

Kuroo followed, anxiety holding tight to his oesophagus. From inside the cat basket, Porco had started to make low growling noises, predictably displeased to find himself in this place of betrayal and injections.

“What happened?” Kenma said, his voice unaffected and flat with tiredness, yet still somehow giving Kuroo the sense that he was being judged.

Kuroo hauled the basket up and set it gently on the exam table. He reached for the door to the basket but Kenma put a cold hand over his.

“Let me get the door first,” he said, stepping to the side and kicking the door to the room closed. He nodded at Kuroo to continue.

“Okay, well,” Kuroo said, sighing as he unlatched the cat basket. “I was distracted, and Porco was sitting on top of one of the doors. I didn’t even know they knew how to get up there. So I left the room, shut the door behind me…”

Kenma nodded, bending to peer into the basket. “Classic,” he said quietly, his voice turning soft and conciliatory. “Hi there, Porco,” he murmured, in a tone far more loving than Kuroo had ever heard him use on a human, with the possible exception of Hinata. “Don’t you want to come out?” Kenma lifted his head and jerked his chin at Kuroo. “Go stand in the corner,” he said, dropping the lovey dovey tone.

Kuroo pouted, but Kenma just stared at him until he relented and moved a few steps back, away from the exam table.

Once he was out of the way, Kenma reached into the basket. There was a moment of silence while he let Porco sniff his fingers, then a brief scuffle and a hiss before he dragged Porco out by the scruff of his neck and held him down gently against the table.

“Alright then,” Kenma said softly, tucking his fingertip behind Porco’s ear and giving it a gentle scritch. “Let’s have a look at you.”

Kuroo watched, fascinated as ever by Kenma’s bedside manner with animals. Porco was definitely unimpressed by the proceedings, but he stopped growling and started purring as Kenma carefully felt along the ridges of his spine with two fingertips.

“That’s good, right?” Kuroo said quietly. “If he’s purring?”

Kenma’s mouth flattened, which meant that Kuroo had said something stupid. “They purr when they’re scared or hurt,” he muttered. “To comfort themselves.”

“Ah.”

“Some studies suggest they even do it for healing purposes,” Kenma went on, as he reached Porco’s tail and the growling began again.

Kuroo straightened up excitedly. “Wait, like, they can heal themselves by purring?”

Kenma shrugged. “It’s been suggested.”

Porco was obviously getting annoyed with the situation, and started to struggle as Kenma prodded his tail.

“Shh, shh,” Kenma whispered, reaching up to scratch behind his ears again and running a palm gently down his back before going to examine the kink halfway along his tail. He touched it gently. Porco hissed. “Hmm,” Kenma hummed. “I don’t think it’s broken, but we can x-ray it.”

“Oh, god,” Kuroo groaned, tangling his fingers in his hair. “Yaku’s gonna kill me if I broke his cat.”

“Don’t be such a fucking baby,” Kenma said, still speaking in his gentle cat-charming tone. He finally released his grip on Porco’s scruff and the cat immediately wriggled away from him. Kenma shushed it gently, holding his hand out with his fingers curled under. Porco regarded him for a moment with his trademark baleful stare, which was amateurish compared to Kenma’s, then nudged forward and nuzzled his face against Kenma’s knuckles.

“There,” Kenma said softly, stroking Porco’s head and smiling down at the dopey creature. “It’s not so bad here, is it?” He glanced up at Kuroo. “Honestly, I doubt we need to x-ray, I think it’s probably just bruised.” Porco rubbed against Kenma’s wrist, and he used the other hand to gesture to the cat’s tail, which was drooping more than usual, but still swishing gently with pleasure. “It looks like he still has range of motion in the end of his tail and he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble moving.”

Kuroo heaved a sigh of relief, bending forward to prop his hands against his knees. “Oh thank god, thank god.”

Kenma laughed finally, and Kuroo raised his head in surprise. “Kuro, come on,” Kenma said, giving him a tired smile. “Obviously he's got questionable taste, but Morisuke seems to really like you. I’m sure he’ll forgive you.” He ran his hand along Porco’s back again and grinned down at the cat. “Plus, he’s used to having cats, so he probably knows how stupid they can be.”

“Yeah,” Kuroo said, breathing out heavily. He moved back over to the exam table and leaned against it with another deep sigh. “You’re right, I know, I’m a mess.”

Porco glanced up at him as he spoke and blinked slowly. Kuroo got the impression he was being agreed with, which made a change, even if it wasn’t really the topic he _wanted_ the cats to agree with him on.

“Sorry to call you out so late,” Kuroo said, giving Kenma a sheepish look. “Especially over nothing.”

Kenma shrugged and scooped Porco up in his arms, careful to mind the tail. “It’s fine, at least you know he's okay.” Porco snuggled up against his chest, and then headbutted Kenma in the jaw, rubbing against the side of his face.

“Shit.” Kuroo folded his arms and wrinkled his nose in Porco’s direction. “They really do like everyone except me.”

Kenma smirked. “How about Shouyou? Cats don't usually like him.”

“Fuck, I almost forgot. I can't believe you made him come over for you.”

“I can't believe you wanted me to come over just because a cat crawled into a tiny space. That's literally what they do.”

“I know, I knew,” Kuroo groaned. “I'm really sorry. Please thank Hinata for me? I'll send him a gift basket or something.”

Kenma snorted. “Just adopt a dolphin in his name or something, he'll love you forever.” He grinned wickedly. “Or invite him to play volleyball with you guys.”

“He can come if you come,” Kuroo retaliated, just to see the face Kenma would pull. He was not disappointed. “I'm kidding, kidding, of course he can come along. We're pretty awful though, apart from Oikawa and Bokuto obviously.”

“Ugh,” Kenma muttered. “Shouyou and Bokuto together.”

Kuroo cackled. “Wow, Kenma, I can't _imagine_ why you'd pass up that opportunity.”

Kenma rolled his eyes, trying to hide his smile. “Fuck off, Kuro.”

 

—

 

It was almost an hour since Yaku's flight had landed. Yaku had texted him three times: a smiley face when he got off the plane; a selfie with one of his friends pushing him along on a baggage trolley; and a third shortly after to complain about said friend's driving.

As when he left for the airport, Yaku had declined Kuroo’s offer to meet him there for his arrival. It stung, but only a little. The bittersweet end of a holiday wasn’t a great time to be meeting your friend’s new boyfriend in any case; if he were to meet Yaku’s friends at all, he wanted to give the best impression he could.

Kuroo found himself pacing around the apartment. He went into the bedroom and the bathroom, casting his gaze about to check that everything was tidy, clean, free of feline mischief—and then he would step out of the room and immediately have to go back in, realizing he’d been too anxious to really look the first time. He checked the contents of the fridge; he had replaced the boxes of cereal that Porco had decimated on the first night, and replaced most of the fresh food that _he_ had decimated during his stay. The forbidden stash, miraculously, remained untouched.

There was the sound of a key in the door and Kuroo leapt up from his anxious perch on the edge of the couch. He was both desperate to see Yaku again, and absolutely dreading it. The key turned in the lock and Kuroo was struck with a sudden, horrible fear that maybe Yaku wouldn’t want to see him. That maybe Kuroo should’ve gone home and given Yaku time to get home and unwind, maybe recover a little from his jet lag, before inflicting his presence.

But it was too late. The door swung outward and Kuroo shoved his hands into the pockets of his cardigan, clutching handfuls of the knit fabric.

“Tetsurou?” Yaku called out, yanking his key out of the door. “You here?”

Kuroo hurried over to the doorway where Yaku was struggling to pick up both of his bags at once.

“O—oh, let me help?” Kuroo stammered, tripping forward and grabbing one of the bags out of Yaku’s hands.

Yaku laughed under his breath. “I’ve got it, Tetsu,” he said in mild protest, but didn’t fight it when Kuroo took the bag and walked over to the bedroom with it.

“Tetsu,” Yaku said when Kuroo came back for the second bag, sounding vaguely complain-y. Kuroo tugged the bag away from him, and Yaku resisted for only a moment before letting it go with a breath of laughter. “Tetsu, what’re you doing?”

“Helping, obviously,” Kuroo said, raising one eyebrow at him and quirking his mouth to make Yaku smile. It worked, or at least he thought it did, though Yaku’s smile might have been partially influenced by Porco and Rosso finally deigning to jump down from their cat tower and saunter over to greet him.

“He—ey there, my tiny demons,” Yaku crooned, bending down to snatch the nearest cat up in his arms. It was Rosso, and she gave Kuroo an extremely smug look before winding her way up to Yaku’s shoulder and perching there while she nuzzled his ear and cheek.

Kuroo snorted in disgust and busied himself with pushing Yaku’s bags into a corner of the bedroom, out of the way. He turned to survey the room once more, to make sure all his shit was packed away and not spread all over. One of the cats had walked across the middle of the bed, mucking up the perfect spread of the sheet, but Yaku was probably used to that.

“Oi,” Yaku said, sticking his head in the door and scowling at Kuroo. “What’s going on?”

Kuroo met his eyes, then gave the room another anxious glance. “Um—”

Yaku sighed and stepped into the doorway, his hands on his hips. “Tetsurou,” he said impatiently. “I thought I’d at _least_ get a hug or something. Didn’t you miss—”

Kuroo took two steps forward and swept Yaku up in his arms before he could even finish the sentence, lifting him right off his feet. Yaku yelped in his ear, sounding surprised and probably annoyed, but Kuroo just held him tight and tucked his face into the tanned warmth of Yaku’s neck with a sigh. Slowly, Yaku wrapped his arms around Kuroo’s neck and hugged him back, by some miracle not yelling or demanding to be put down immediately.

“Sorry,” Kuroo muttered, giving him an extra hard squeeze before slowly lowering him to the floor. “I should’ve gone home, you probably want space—”

Yaku grabbed him by the back of the neck and kissed him hard. With a soft gasp, Kuroo let himself be drawn into it, his hands moving up to cup Yaku’s neck, thumbs brushing over the stubbly curve of his jaw. “ _Oh_ ,” Kuroo sighed against the corner of Yaku’s lovely mouth. “I missed you.”

“I smell like airplane,” Yaku mumbled in the slightly disgruntled tone he used whenever Kuroo got sappy, but Kuroo didn’t care. He could taste fresh gum on Yaku’s tongue, and couldn’t help the thrill that ran through him at the idea that Yaku had been hoping—had been _expecting_ to kiss him when he got home. It made his stomach swirl helplessly, momentarily drowning out the miserable anxiety about telling Yaku of his misadventures with the cats.

“Yakkun,” Kuroo said, moving his hands to Yaku’s waist and pushing up Yaku’s sweatshirt a little way to feel the soft skin of his back. He felt Yaku’s face get warm against his cheek.

“You’ll have to do better than that if you want me to say I missed you too,” Yaku groused, but despite the grumpy words he pushed himself into Kuroo’s touch, his back arching slightly as he tightened his arms around Kuroo’s neck.

Kuroo laughed under his breath and spread his palm across the center of Yaku’s back, under his clothes. The last thing he wanted was to ruin this lovely moment by confessing what a disaster he was, but if he put it off he just _knew_ that he’d lose his nerve, and Yaku would _not_ appreciate finding any of it out later. Kuroo took a deep breath and pulled back a little way, enough to look Yaku in the eye. “I’ve got to tell you something,” he said.

There was a second where Yaku’s face was all sleepy incomprehension, and Kuroo could see the moment that his words processed by the way Yaku frowned slightly, his mouth tilting. “Okay? You’re not running off with one of my neighbours, are you?”

The absurdity of the question made Kuroo laugh, thankfully dispelling some of the anxiety he felt. Yaku’s frown deepened. “Sometimes I think you _want_ me to to run off just so you can get possessive,” he teased.

Yaku made a face. “What fucking nonsense,” he murmured, giving the back of Kuroo’s neck a little flick. “So, what is it?”

Kuroo pulled away and reached up to take Yaku’s hands, needing a little space to say his piece, but not wanting to let go quite yet in case this made Yaku hate him forever.

“So, your cats hate me,” he said in a rush.

Yaku tilted his head to one side. “Come again?”

Kuroo briefly enumerated his fuck ups with Porco and Rosso. He gestured wildly at parts which earned him a mild glare from Yaku, seeing as Kuroo still had hold of his hands. When he’d finished summing up, Kuroo watched Yaku’s annoyed expression with no small degree of trepidation and a tiny spoonful of abject terror. It took him a moment to realise that Yaku was trying not to smile.

“Oh my god,” Kuroo said, pulling his hands away. “You’re laughing at me!”

“I am not,” Yaku said indignantly. It was true, but just barely. Instead of doing something reassuring like one of Kuroo’s other friends might have, Yaku just folded his arms and gave him a pointed look. “Though you definitely deserve getting laughed at, you muppet.”

Kuroo winced. “I know, I know.”

Yaku flicked him again, this time on the forehead. “Tetsu, you idiot,” he said with a fond look. “Didn’t I tell you they were assholes? I can’t believe you let them push you around like that!”

“And we can stop talking about it now,” Kuroo murmured, putting a hand to the back of his neck. He could feel it getting hot with embarrassment, the tips of his ears turning pink too. “I, um—I thought you’d be mad.”

“Depends,” Yaku said, narrowing his eyes. “How much did the vet cost me?”

“Nothing!” Kuroo said quickly. “It was Kenma who checked him out, and he said we didn't need to x-ray or anything, so it was okay.”

Yaku frowned. “You mean Kozume-san? He won't get in trouble, will he?”

Kuroo shook his head. “We’re good friends with the owners, it wasn't a problem.”

“Hmm,” Yaku hummed doubtfully. “If you're sure.”

“Promise,” Kuroo said, reaching for Yaku's elbows and running his hands slowly up and down Yaku's upper arms. “Are you tired?”

Yaku nodded, glancing around vaguely. “Did you change the sheets?”

“Yeah, I wanted it to be nice for you to come home to.”

“You're such a suck up,” Yaku said, his fond tone clashing with his words. He unfolded his arms and reached for Kuroo's wrist. “Come on, I need a shower, and you're coming with me.”

 

—

 

After a steamy shower, which turned into a long bath punctuated by lazy kissing, which turned into Yaku falling asleep on Kuroo's chest, the two of them curled up on the couch together and ate the curry that Kuroo had made that afternoon.

Yaku finally gave up trying to stay awake at around nine PM and, for probably the first and last time, allowed Kuroo to carry him to the other room and tuck him into bed.

Kuroo wasn't tired himself, but he'd missed Yaku enough that he wasn't ready to leave just yet. He put down a fresh bowl of food for the cats, brushed his teeth, and got into bed to listen to Yaku's soft breathing until he fell asleep himself.

 

—

 

Kuroo woke up the next morning feeling far more comfortable than he ever did in his own bed, though he felt strangely warm and heavy. He blinked awake, with a sudden fearfulness that maybe he was getting sick, the last thing he wanted right as Yaku got home.

“Tetsu?” Yaku mumbled sleepily, stirring against his back. His arm was wrapped tight around Kuroo's waist, a knee shoved between his thighs.

“Oh, hey,” Kuroo said softly, turning to peer at him over his shoulder.

Yaku groaned and burrowed his face between Kuroo's shoulder blades, faint stubble itching through his tank top. When Kuroo twitched slightly in protest, Yaku tugged the thin shirt with his free hand, inching it down until he could press his cheek against Kuroo's bare skin.

“Stop moving,” Yaku mumbled. His lips were soft against the ridges of Kuroo's spine. It made a shivery heat travel up the back of his neck, and all the way down to his tailbone.

Kuroo groaned softly. “I have to pee though.”

Yaku tutted at him. “Nope.”

“I'll pee right here,” Kuroo threatened.

“Ugh,” Yaku huffed, reluctantly loosening his grip. “You're worse than the cats. Fine, go.”

Kuroo rolled over to sit up, but found his way blocked. He looked down in surprise to find not one, but two fluffy lumps curled up beside him.

“Yakkun,” he hissed, reaching over and shaking Yaku's shoulder. “Morisuke, look!”

“Fuck off.”

“The cats are here!”

Yaku groaned. He lifted his head a few centimetres and scowled. “Little shits. Just push ‘em off.” He dropped his head back to the pillow and yawned loudly.

Neither Porco or Rosso had stirred. Holding his breath, Kuroo slowly sat up properly and drew one leg, then the other, up towards him. Porco grumbled and rolled over, and Rosso stretched out her paws before curling into an even tighter ball.

“Holy shit,” Kuroo whispered excitedly. “They don't hate me anymore!”

“ _Tetsurou_ ,” Yaku hissed.

“Right, right, I'm going.”

Careful not to disturb the cats, Kuroo slithered the rest of the way out of bed and scampered off to the bathroom. He was halfway through brushing his teeth when the door creaked open a few centimetres and Porco started to weave between his ankles, rubbing up against his left shin.

“Holy shit,” Kuroo whispered, accidentally spraying toothpaste flecks on the newly clean mirror. He stuck the toothbrush in his mouth and tentatively reached down. Without even hesitating, Porco butted against his hand, face burrowing into the curl of his fingers for attention. Kuroo grinned. Toothpaste and spit drooled onto his tank top but he didn't even care.

“Hey, asshole,” Kuroo said sweetly. He scratched behind Porco’s ears, then stroked a hand along his back. Porco started to purr.

Feeling brave, Kuroo hooked one hand between Porco’s front legs and scooped him up with the other, the way Kenma had taught him to pick them up. To his surprise, Porco happily snuggled into his chest. Kuroo grinned, drooling more toothpaste on himself.

Eventually, he managed to finish brushing his teeth and wipe off the worst of the toothpaste before hurrying back to the bedroom.

Yaku grumbled at being disturbed again, but he reached out nonetheless to drag Kuroo back beneath the sheets, wrapping around him like a vine.

“Yakkun,” Kuroo murmured excitedly against Yaku's temple.

“Tetsurou,” Yaku groaned softly.

“They don't hate me,” Kuroo whispered, too excited to keep it in, even faced with Yaku's wrath. “Porco let me pick him up!”

Yaku snorted gently, his breath warm on Kuroo's chest. “That's the key,” he mumbled, sounding surprisingly unwrathful. “Get Porco on your side and Rosso’s a pushover.”

“But I trapped his tail in a door!”

Yaku pinched him. “Shh. I didn't say they were smart. Lemme sleep.”

Kuroo sighed and pulled Yaku closer to him, letting himself relax into the comforting weight of Yaku's limbs. Porco jumped up onto the bed again and tucked himself against the backs of Kuroo's knees, so that if Kuroo wanted to move at all, he'd have to just forget it. Rosso rolled over too and sprawled on top of his feet.

Kuroo silently accepted that his life was now full of cats, and closed his eyes.

“Hey,” Yaku mumbled after a little while.

“Mm?” Kuroo hummed, brushing the hair off Yaku's forehead and kissing his eyebrow.

Yaku huffed. “I'm sorry you had a shitty time with them.”

Kuroo made a soft sound of protest and tugged him closer. “I didn't have a shitty time,” he said softly against Yaku's hairline. “Except for missing you.”

“Sap,” Yaku murmured, but there was no accusation in his voice for once. He nuzzled his face into Kuroo's chest and breathed in deeply. “I missed you too.”

“I'm recording this conversation,” Kuroo whispered.

Yaku snorted. “Inadmissible.”

“You're inadmissible.”

“God, I'm dating a teenager.”

“Yakkun, that's just wrong.”

Yaku laughed loudly at last, and the cats shifted with disgruntled noises.

“I've made up my mind,” Yaku said after a minute, tightening his arms around Kuroo's waist. “I'm keeping you.”

Kuroo grinned wide enough to hurt. “I thought you didn't like strays.”

Yaku gave a put upon sigh. “Well, I like you.”

Kuroo's pathetic, sappy heart soared.

“But if you're really recording this, I'll kill you.”

Kuroo grinned. “I like you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> [notallballs on tumblr](http://notallballs.tumblr.com) || reblog the fic [here](https://notallballs.tumblr.com/post/149993772507/herding-cats-notallballs-notallbees)
> 
> [monabeewrites on tumblr](http://monabeewrites.tumblr.com) || reblog the art [here](http://monabeewrites.tumblr.com/post/149948134297/painstaking-hours-of-painting-and-my-camera-kills)


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